


La Jolla

by s1lverwren



Series: 12 days of christmas [9]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, idk - Freeform, if you read it as romance its romance but if you read it as platonic it's platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:48:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28031895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/s1lverwren/pseuds/s1lverwren
Summary: Emily's been having a rough couple of days, juggled between staying and not staying, and Hotch takes her up on a deal they made.(my interpretation of the date we were robbed of in the season 7 finale)
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner & Emily Prentiss, Aaron Hotchner/Emily Prentiss
Series: 12 days of christmas [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2045071
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	La Jolla

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr saw it first. stream your new boyfriend and your city gave me cancer by wilbur

**“** Want to get coffee?”

It was the Monday morning after JJ’s wedding. The team, bar one member, was still buzzing with the joy of the party and the union. Everyone except one- Emily Prentiss.

Emily had been sulking at her desk for the whole day, flipping her phone between her fingers absentmindedly. There was a stack of paperwork that she had yet to touch, only collecting dust, and a cup of coffee cooled, no signature lip print present on the rim.

“Prentiss,” Hotch asked again.

She looked up with a smile that didn’t quite reach her empty eyes. “I didn’t hear you, sorry.”

“Want to get coffee?”

The olive branch he was extending wasn’t just that of caffeine. He could clearly see the cup untouched. It was an invitation to talk, to vent, to take up on the plan from the days prior. She took it, smiling gratefully, some sort of life lighting her eyes for the first time in two days.

“That sounds great, actually.”

They went to a mom-and-pop coffee shop down the road from their office. It was cute, decorated with fairy lights and crude children’s drawings. It was empty except for the two of them and an elderly couple tucked away in a booth in the corner.

Two steaming cups of liquid were placed in front of them by the owner, a kind looking woman with smile lines etched into her face. She looked wise beyond her years, like the type of person that made you want to return countless times to hear the stories of her life.

Hotch nodded his thanks to her and watched her walk away with a gentle smile. When the woman was successfully out of ear shot, he turned to Emily with ever so slightly furrowed eyebrows. 

“You never order tea.”

It wasn’t a question. Prentiss didn’t meet his eyes, staring down at her cup as she swirled the tea with the metal spoon given to her. 

“Wanted to try something different,” she shrugged, finally looking up at him with sunken in eyes.

“When was the last time you slept?” He sounded the same as he normally does when surveying the wellbeing of his team members, but this time there was a subtle softness that normally wasn’t there.

Emily rubbed the bridge of her nose, peering at him from under her fingers. “Ummmm… before the robbery was the last time I really remember.”

Four days. The implications of that hung in the air between the two of them. The other pair in the cafe meandered out, arm in arm. Now, it was just them. Hotch raised his eyebrows and took a drink from his cup.

“Bad day?” he asked, bringing them back to that conversation in Rossi’s foyet.

“Bad year,” was the curt affirmation.

“Want to talk about it?” he asked, echoing the sentiment from that same conversation.

She nodded wordlessly and pulled her phone out from her pocket. There were quiet beeps that filled the silence as she punched in some sort of message, before holding the screen out to him. He shot her a hesitant look, and she shook it a little. 

“Take it, Hotch. I don’t think I’d be able get through the whole thing without having a breakdown.”

The breakdown that she’d been pushing off for far too long, but she didn’t say that.

The phone was dropped into his hand, and he licked his lips a little before reading it out. 

_“Emily, I’m eagerly awaiting your response. The field office management sent me your files today. Again. It’s not just me who wants you here, it’s everyone. I know you probably don’t want to leave that team, but you’re meant for so much better things. That better thing is being the Head of the London Field office. I need an answer fast, and I really would like the favor of Lady X repaid. -Easter.”_

In all of Emily’s life, she hadn’t truly experienced the phrase “silence is deafening.” Of course, she’d been in suffocating silence, that’s just something you signed up for when you work in what they do.

But the silence between the two of them that followed the reading of that message- that was deafening. 

The bell hanging at the door clanged as a group of young girls walked in, chattering lively. Emily tore her eyes away from Hotch’s to watch them. They were an eclectic group, dressing in every color of the rainbow, in various styles. No two girls looked the same. 

Her eyes were especially drawn to the girl in the back. She was the only Asian in the group and, despite the pleasant weather of spring, was swathed in a winter coat. While all her compatriots were smiling, her face was blank, wiped of all emotion.

Prentiss saw herself in the girl. She was surrounded by enthusiastic, settled, happy people, while being none of those things.

Aaron cleared his throat, bringing Emily’s attention back to him, and held the phone back out. As she slipped it into her bag, he began drumming his fingers on the table.

“Why?” he asked, his quiet voice barely heard over the new customers.

“Nothing is the same, you know,” she tried to justify. “You guys are different people. You act like you welcomed me back with open arms, but it’s not how it used to be. I just knew I wouldn’t be able to settle into my old life. I needed… change. Well, I guess you wouldn’t know. You’ve never died.”

Hotch was studying her face intently, almost as if he was trying to memorize it. “After Haley died, the Bureau offered me retirement.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“I know. The only people I told were Jessica and Rossi. But I seriously considered it. I didn’t want to leave Jack alone; he’d just lost his mom, I didn’t want to be absent from his life, too.”

Emily had a pensive look on her face. “Why didn’t you take it?” “I realized that, as much as I wanted change, it would be worse for me. That’s why I stayed in that apartment after he attacked me, that’s why I kept working here. I knew that I would go insane with that much change,” Hotch explained. Swishing the coffee in his cup lightly before taking a drink, he rubbed his stomach, the ghosts of old wounds coming back to haunt him.

“Yeah, I don’t think that will work for me.”

One side of his mouth lifted, and he simply said, “I know.”

“I love you guys, and I love this job, I just don’t love… me.”

“It’s hard to come back from something like that.”

Emily leaned her head to the side. “Don’t sound so understanding about this, Hotch! You were supposed to try to get me to stay.”

“If I asked you to stay, would you?”

“No,” she said slowly, coming to a realization of her own. “No, I wouldn’t.”

“Exactly. Drink the tea, you need the caffeine. You look dead on your feet.”

She took a large swig at the request. Her brown eyes were wistful as they fell back to the now seated group of girls. The girl had fallen into her stride, as she was now animatedly telling a story to the rest of her party. Emily smiled, glad that at least one of them found themselves.

“I do want you to stay, for what it’s worth.” Hotch’s voice was rough, and he cleared it again. “You’re a part of this team, and I wouldn’t rather have anyone else by my side.”

“Aw, thanks, Hotch.”

Hotch wasn’t done. “But I know that trying to stop Emily Prentiss when she wants to do something is a meaningless quest. You’re going to do wonderfully.”

Emily smiled, a real one now. The weight of desperation had been lifted off her chest, and it felt like, for the first time since before she started going after Doyle, she could breathe properly again.

“Do you know when you start?”

Emily shook her head. “I haven’t told him yet. But by the way he talked when he asked me Friday, I’d expect it to be ASAP.”

Hotch’s smile had melancholy painted over it, like lipstick applied incorrectly. “Does anyone on the team know?”

“Morgan knows I’m thinking about it, but he doesn’t know I’ll accept the offer. And I have absolutely no idea how to break the news to any of them.”

“Do you want me to do it with you?”

Emily’s eyes shined adoringly at him, reflecting the twinkling decorations of the shop. “I love you for offering, but no. This is my decision, and I have to face the music and tell them.”

The cafe was starting to get busy now, more customers filing in, filling the walls with the sounds of joy and caffeine. Hotch leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest as he eyed Emily’s still hands resting on the table.

“You’re happy. This is something you’ve thought about for a long time,” he mused.

Prentiss agreed, “Since I came back.”

“A year’s a long time for you to feel like you don’t belong. Why didn’t you tell us?”

She bit her lip and echoed her statement to Morgan nights prior. “I thought it was just the trauma. I thought if I bought a house and planted roots, I’d be able to fix me. And we have such a mobile job, I don’t know. I thought I could do it again.”

Hotch, in a rare moment of physical affection, held his hand out for her to grab. Their fingers intertwined in the middle of the table. 

“It’s okay. I understand. Just...promise to call and stay in touch.”

“Without a doubt.”


End file.
